my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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