umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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