Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize