i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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