So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
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It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We are all done wearing pants today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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