and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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