So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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