just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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