I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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