We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she smelled like a LAN party
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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