You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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