i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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