I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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