The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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