Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize