she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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