how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize