So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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