I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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