I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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