Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize