just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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