Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize