Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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