You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize