just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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