If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
how does that bad decision feel?
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