i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize