Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
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Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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