You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize