I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Come on in and take your pants off
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