Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize