just come out here and I will go home with you...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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