If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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