the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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