I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
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I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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