I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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