when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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