I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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