You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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