I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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