thus making me awesome and them whores
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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