What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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