hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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