Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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