If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize