White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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