I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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