it hurts more in the daytime
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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