Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize